I had fought the idea of Xanax for some time because I felt my anxiety was still under my control. Eventually though I began to feel that my anxiety was controlling me more so than the other way around.
My doctor and I began discussing the benefits of Xanax.
“What are the side effects?”
“Will it be hard to lean off of it?”
“When will it start working? Better yet, when will it stop working?”
I asked question after question after question. Then I stopped myself when I realized I was having anxiety over treating my anxiety!
Dealing with anxiety is often a more anxious experience than the anxiety itself.
As humans, when something is uncomfortable and unpleasant, we want to make it go away as quickly and easily as possible.
Unfortunately, anxiety is not quite so kind.
I think I speak for others who also have an anxious brain when I say it is scary to think that this discomfort will always be present.
How can I ever truly be myself if my personality is always wrapped inside of this anxious cloud? Will my authentic self ever be revealed?
The truth is, asking these questions only generates more anxiety. Being anxious about being anxious is the worst form of anxiety in my opinion, mainly because there is no end to that mode of thinking.
What is the answer to why can’t I just stop being anxious? Asking that question is only tightening the grip that anxiety has on you.
We need to be committed to finding ways of managing and gaining control over our anxiety rather than wrestling with how to rid of it completely.
When we shift our energy towards coping strategies and tools we can use in those moments of anxiety, I guarantee they will be more useful than clinging to the thought of, “Why won’t this just stop already?”
I have tried the latter and it simply is not an effective strategy.
So the time has come to find a new approach. I am not sure what that is for certain, but dedicating my time to finding it out, rather than perpetuating negative thoughts, seems like a good place to start.